Feminine Energy

Saturday was a red letter day for me. For the first time in my memory, I felt the truly powerful energy of being female. It wasn't what I expected at all.

I was reluctantly, sheepishly, and somewhat fearfully attending Sara-Shivani's lifeshop of tantra and tao yoga. Despite my self-doubt, it came at a fortunate time for me as I have recently met all these goddess-women and they fascinate me. I'd like to be a goddess, too, but I felt I needed guidance. Also, through discussions with Tod and hoop-related body awareness I had painfully come to the conclusion that I was completely out of touch with the physical aspects of being female.

You probably know some women who you'd call earth mothers. They exude a definite calm, stable yet fluid strength, don't they? I felt that energy in myself! It was solid but juicy and flexible. It felt like particles vibrating inside me and it filled me from feet to chest. It was sexual energy, but not in the explosive orgasmic sense at all.

Normally the energy I feel and see and experience in various ways is based in light - glows, sparks, brightness. But this female energy was deeper, lower, dimmer. It was not sinister, it was simply not ethereal. It was strong. It contained a lot of power but no aggression. It was a complete surprise.

And thanks to Sara-Shivani's ability to share her knowledge and to melt away useless insecurities, now I know how to tap into my feminine sexual energy and how to strengthen it inside me. And I will be doing that because it felt good and really, truly right.