Toss salad, toss cookies

One morning recently, we amused ourselves for more than an hour reading recipes from the Three Rivers Cookbook series. Here are some of the best titles and taglines:

Sesame Cheese Ball
"Opens the door to good taste"
If you rub the cheese ball, you get three wishes.

Tomato & Sausage Soup
"Tastes like Pittsburgh"
No way; Pittsburgh is not made of tomatoes and sausage.

Wine Soup
"Will make you tipsy"

Friandisis
"If you can pronounce it, you can make it"
We joked at university that if you could spell Existential Phenomenological Psychology, you'd get an A in the class.

Mango Chutney
"Before you do anything, find the mangos"
Then go chutney huntin'

Chicken
"An original masterpiece"
Huh?

Chicken Curry
"Comments range from 'Delicious!' to 'Terrific!"
This curry includes crushed pineapple, coffee cream, and curry powder. I can hear the sarcasm in those Delicious! comments.

Sweet Potato Balls and Walnuts
"Especially nice around a ham"
I can just see them schmoozing with the meat now.

Nanny's luncheon salad
"Is easily expanded to serve an indefinite number"
Not good enough, I need a recipe that serves an irrational number.