Maureen and Mark were married at home on one of the most gorgeous spring evenings in many years. Their friends and families pulled together to cook the wedding feast and create a party atmosphere with music, flowers and decorations. It was truly beautiful. My favorite memory of the day is looking up at a shower of rose petals glowing in the late afternoon sunlight with Mr & Mrs Bailey smiling together in a brilliant blue sky.
My other memories are of rushing to finish tasks and hoping to enlist help. Most of time of the wedding day and the preceding days, you would have seen me as above - something in my arms, my back to you as I scurried away bent on completion. With the combined love from friends and family, we made the day just right for the happy couple. I know they cherished their day and that our effort paid off.
It was a successful event but I am happy to be home again in Japan. America seems to amplify what I dislike in myself: I am more judgmental; less patient; I can’t hold my tongue; my stress level soars; I feel resentful and restless. I am frustrated that I can’t control those traits. I feel sad that my relatives only know the awful me. All those bad aspects are with me in Japan, too, but so much less prominent. I am happy here and angry there.
Jo once told me that she could never live in Japan again because she didn’t like the person she became when she was here. I guess I feel the same way about myself in the US. I don’t want to be that person.