I cannot easily express how much Christmas irritates me.
I enjoy giving. I like fruitcake. The scent of evergreen boughs and bayberry candles is delightful. Choirs singing traditional and religious carols please me.
But I despise shopping. I don’t like the expectations, the pressure, the greed. It turns me cold. However, like rubbernecking at a traffic accident, I’m compelled to examine the depths to which consumers are sinking this year. Here’s what I’ve found:
Target.com has gift ideas for your Hairdresser. Marcasite earrings; that’s what every hairdresser wants. Or for Teacher, some “dessert excuse” plates with cute drawings of cakes and phrases like “just a sliver, please.”
Wrong, wrong, wrong. If you feel generous this season, give your hairdresser an extra-big tip and your teacher a gift certificate for books or school supplies.
Maybe I’m just utterly unsentimental, but don’t you think you could do better for your mother than a personalised “#1 Mom” picture frame from Wal-Mart? Surely mom has some personal interests beyond the circumstance of motherhood.
What about Dad? Pretty much every web-based shopping guide thinks dad wants an MP3 player this year. Tod suggests a bottle of booze instead.
The “Teens and Tweens” on your shopping list may be a bit of a challenge, but I was shocked (and you know that’s not easy to do) by Christmas-Guide.com’s suggestion of ammo as an “outdoorsy” gift for teens. Nothing says Christmas like a stocking full of hollow point cartridges.
Enough. I will turn away from this accident that is “the holiday season” and focus on the way ahead: a new year, a new leaf and all that malarky.
Posted by kuri at November 29, 2004 08:21 PMI pity teachers for all the crap they get - tissue boxes with apples on them, apple scented hand lotion, plaques with cutesy phrases (and apples!) on them.
I don’t consider motherhood a circumstance, but I don’t want the #1 photo frame either.
I’ll make some gifts this year, make the cards and burn the yummy scented (not apple) candles.
Posted by: Jenny on November 29, 2004 09:46 PMVery funny collage to make your point. :) Now that you’ve got that out of your system, try to enjoy the parts you like and avoid the malls.
Posted by: Andy on November 29, 2004 11:21 PMI wonder which is more outrageous, a pack of hollow points as a gift or using religious holiday as excuse to make a reservation for a room in Love Hotel?
Posted by: Kimura on November 30, 2004 12:53 AMI’m not irritated by Christmas itself, but what the US (and probably worldwide) retail industry has done to Christmas is outrageous. It does make me not look forward to the holiday. Humbug to them.
mike underscore rosenlof at yahoo dot com
Posted by: mike on December 3, 2004 06:22 AMHere you are ranting about consumerism as well as indirectly in your post about desiging your own religion but on this page
https://mt.mediatinker.com/blog/archives/008601.html
you’re selling stuff. Is there are joke here I’m not getting?
Posted by: crumugon on December 5, 2004 01:41 AMI’d just like to thank you for taking the time to create this internet website. It has been extremely helpful
Posted by: prepaid-card on December 23, 2004 06:41 AM