I see things like this at least once a day, and they really sap my will. Fantastic quantities of time and energy wasted on total assheadedness. I look at the news and I see it. I look around me, at my colleagues and bosses, and see more.
By the end of the day it has been all I can do to watch a some tivo-recorded Adult Swim and peer at kuri for a while, hoping for a little commiseration. I resolve to fight harder against the temptation to curl up in a ball and sulk. (Of course it must be true, it is on the internet now.)
On a more positive note, I have been digging that Arianna Huffington has been getting a ton of exposure lately. She rocks.
If we are talking of existential angst, then I can only say that at present I chose to go with the more literal definition:
existential:
\Ex`is*ten"tial\, a. Having existence. [Archaic] --Bp. Barlow
Which is to say, lately my work existence has been hell, I am looking for a new job, and I am generally surly about the whole experience. I wish I could say this has not lessened my recent efforts toward becoming more involved in events beyond the tip of my nose, or that it has not reduced my ability to strive for more esoteric self improvement.
It has, though. My capacity for dealing with crap has not expanded to meet demand. I am sure that I will work things out. In the meantime, this post is mostly an excuse to transplant a comment from a previous thread...
Part of the problem with not talking seriously with people around me about the state of things is that I loose sight of the fact that feeling conflicted is a normal state of being in the world today. This comic got me thinking...
A feeling of internal conflict is simply a sign that I have emotions unreconciled with my logical understanding of any given thing. This is normal; we are emotional creatures. The trouble comes when I do not explore this contradiction. Our culture is brutally harsh toward anyone who appears to "waffle", "dither" or "flip-flop", and I think that this attitude is a steaming load.
In order to come to any sort of peace with myself, I must be willing to challenge my own assumptions, and continue to do so until there is some parity between my subconscious and conscious. Until I achieve gestalt.
This does not happen easily in a vacuum. The fundamental ethics, morals, and values that we rely upon to achieve this reconciliation are meaningless without community as a frame of reference. But we don't want our peers to think we do not have it all figured out, that we might wish or find need to redefine these very things. So, instead, we look to the media to give us our frame of reference. We note "opinion polls" and "editorial" comments. Fine as far as it goes, but it is a one way street. I can not ask a talking head, "If you feel like so about this, how do you rationalize that?" We get no opportunity to check the consistency of the logic, or plumb the depths of the feeling.
The point here, is that we are all in the same boat. My neighbor is just as confused as I am. I will make an effort to tell others about my conflicts and they might tell me about theirs. Together, we may take a small step closer to clarity.
IE 5.5 sp2 PC. Does not render. I am not fixing it. Get a better browser.
I will try to do the same. Feh.
Something has broken the way things render in IE 6. Commenting out the changes I made has not solved this issue. I am disgusted.
A simple html form with a few style elements renders differently in every browser I have looked at it with so far. There is no excuse for this. Bah.